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Cricket jokes about umpires and umpiring

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Umpire at the gate How would I know?
Bail weight Well, your Lordship
Windy day A close shave
Heckling the umpire Be totally fair
No umpire ? How do you spell
I've been watching you An umpire short
No wides How was I out?
That wasn't out Can you walk?
We have to win Excuse my son
Why's that out? Do you know who I am
No unpleasantness Who is he
Uncle's funeral Prison cricket match

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